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“Royals are not puppets of the press, since — if they have any sense — they realize they can be biffed as well as praised. The wise ones know how to take the rough with the smooth.’

Lees walked down the track to Mohammed Shami in the second over of the innings and later greeted the spin of Ravindra Jadeja with a biff down the ground followed by a reverse sweep.

I picked it up, he walked back in, saw me touching his guitar and biffed me.

The event closed with the more appropriate “God Bless America” and “America the Beautiful,” but the keyboardist biffed the intro to the first and the singer strangled the final note of the second.

“I don’t know if anyone has biffed anything as bad as the federal government biffed their management of this,” she says.