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And he wields insults — ”I have hemorrhoids that are more useful than you” — with a poetic fluency last seen in Archie Bunker, made even more stinging by the educated vocabulary and London accent.

James Ivory took a nap in Hugh’s hotel room and accidentally used his hemorrhoid cream to brush his teeth instead of the toothpaste.

Foam mixed with medications is already used to treat conditions such as varicose veins, hemorrhoids, wounds on the skin and even hair loss.

Although the series treats Blauner as a fretful schlemiel in early episodes — almost the moment we meet him, we hear about his hemorrhoids — he’s allowed to be a man of action later on.

California health officials are warning the public about a Vietnamese hemorrhoid ointment that is laced with a “highly dangerous amount of lead” and has killed a Sacramento woman.