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There was Fielding, that was all, he could run and run and there would be the farm, the sunshine, the animals, they could lie in the long grass at the bottom of the garden, they could feed the donkey, they could scrump the apple trees, anything.

Throughout the book he employs rustic Anglo-Saxonisms like “scrump” and “hoick,” along with luscious Latinate words such as “ericaceous” and “quercophilic.”

Middle-class children could devolve to their robots the playing of educational �������t¶�� with overanxious parents, leaving the scamps free to scrump apples and watch DVDs all day.

Then they carried me into some dank-smelling place; I knew they had to stoop, for I could hear their shoulders scrump along the passage, they laid me down on a shelf of stone and took the white thing quite away, and then they left me, and then I heard a sound of labouring at the door, and then a crash.

"Oh! scrump!" said Peter Piper, who sometimes invented doll slang— though there wasn't really a bit of harm in him.