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Perhaps the alarm bells should have started ringing when he began prescribing shampoo to treat a cold, creosote for toothache or suggested patients swallow their suppositories.

Humans have been controlling their reproduction for all of recorded history, from ancient Egyptian vaginal suppositories made of animal dung to spermicidal ointments made with cedar and olive oil employed by 4th Century Greeks.

That she and Franklyn task themselves with rewriting the copy instead of simply asking some lackey on the marketing team to request a less geriatric word for “suppository” is a colossal waste of their time.

It comes in vape pens, nasal sprays, dissolvable sublingual tablets, rectal or vaginal suppositories, skin creams and much more.

“Sir, you may rest assured that I will not make The Style Invitational a suppository of bathroom humor.”