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The figures also showed that food inflation fell for the thirteenth month in a row to 3.2%.

Not for the first—or even the thirteenth—time, the ablutionist waited impatiently for his victim to fall over dead.

“I think we’ve all established that no one’s asleep. Why don’t we introduce ourselves? I’m Jack, and this is my grandson here, also named Jack. He’s Jack the thirteenth...the lucky one, I call him.”

The authors of the Speculum paper write that this identification was a mistaken one, the result of a misreading, in the thirteenth century, of an account of the giant written in Latin.

It is her thirteenth home in the last 20 years.