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You look a total wally if you dance too early, but after one crucial song tips the disco over, you look a sad saddo if you don’t.

Years later, when I was working as a trolley wally in a supermarket, I tackled the boredom by talking to the customers in as many different accents as I could manage.

“No, I’m a total wally at home. I’m the fourth kid.”

"I was like, 'You silly, naive wally!' Never wish that on yourself. It's unbearable."

Alan, who gives his age as 55, is not quite the brash, chirpy young wally you can find in video clips on the Internet.